Being with my Dad

(Originally posted Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 1:27pm)

We arrived at the Rumfelt house with open arms and tight hugs, but the tears didn’t start until I saw him. My Dad went into the hospital nov 24th and came home Friday February 12 after he specificly stated he didn’t want to die in the hospital.

I have never seen my dad in two states, one is crying, the other is helpless. He was a firm believer in a man not crying, and that a man should never be a burden on anyone. Today I saw him in both states.

As I walked into the room my brain was trying to imagine what I’d see; I knew he had lost some weight from his over 300 lb frame. My heart was racing faster than a shooting star, my emotions were at the brink of exploding like a nuclear bomb, and my eyes teared up like a windshield in a down poor. My Dad, whom I have always compared to a brick wall linesman, lay in bed unable to hold his head or arms up, frail and near weightless his once 300 lb frame was nowhere to be found. Instead of that big man I could never push over, the man who lifted push lawn mowers with one hand palmed over the cowling, and pushed the Ranchero back on the jackstand preventing it from falling over, and other feats of strength, there lay a dying man who needed help to turn his head.

I knew he would never allow this to happen on purpose, but I approached him regardless of whether or not he felt embaressed. “God help me do this” I muttered under my breath as I held his limp hand, put my hand on his hatless head, and looked into his empty eyes. It took me a second, but I finally forced out like your first I love you the words that broke everyone to tears; “I’m here Dad!”

His eyes were open in sunken sockets, but rolled back like he was sleeping, his mouth hangs slightly open with a drooping left corner. I could see one of his remaining teeth behind his dry lips, and his nose very sharply defined. His jaw bones visible for the first time in my life. A trimmed mustache replaced the iconic gotee that had made home his chin for decades. Even his head of remaining hair closely followed the contour of his skull.

But all of that instantly was replaced by an appearence of him in my memory when he raised his eyebrow at my presence; he heard his only son's voice. His breathing suddenly icreased, his face began to make motions, and frustratedly he fought his body to communicate with me without words.

I knew I didn’t have much time, I couldn’t wait for personal alone time, I had to act now! God wispered into my ear what I had asked Him to tell my dad and I spoke, “Dad, there is nothing in your life that you have done that God didn’t love you. Call to Him, say ‘take my pain God’ and He will hear you even if we can’t. Call to Him for peace, and it will come.”

A few seconds later, he squeased my hand, raised his eyebrows, and turned his head slightly. Everyone who has been with him these last few days said that’s how he says he understands, he was acknowledging my request.

How do you tell a man who can’t talk that he needs to confess his sins and accept Jesus into his heart? I think it arrogant that people think a long and drawn out process is between death and salvation. Instead, I feel Jesus has made a place in heaven for those who call out in their last hours.

I feel this day was the day grace sealed my dads place in the Lambs Book of Life.

After the nurse came to clean him up. He was opening his eyes and looking around. Everyone called for me and Sarah and again we asured him to pray “in Jesus name, all pain go away” and when his eyes met mine, we could see tears begin to form in his eye. He began to lift his arms and head, but gravity had no compasion for his desire to hug me. After two attempts, I picked up his hand and placed it on my face when he immediately squeezed my tear soaked cheek, raised an eyebrow, and smiled! Then he winked at Sarah and smiled again. I knew he was telling us he loves us.

I never, before this moment, could have imagined in my nightmares how hard it would be to lose my father. And never in my wildest dreams in life would I have thought I would have been graced with leading my Dad to call out to God for peace and salvation.

I’m a mess, but I need to thank everyone who has prayed for me, my wife, my family, and my father and his salvation. He will thank you in person when we meet him there!

I firmly believe I was victorious and God will take him home!!!

I will post again tomorrow with a status update. We plan to show the videos and pictures up on the screen.

Love, jon and Sarah.